Negative portrayals of Thai-Farang relationships in the media.

We all know that certain parts of the media often repeat very fixed stereotypes about Thai-Farang relationships. A Thai woman married to a Farang will be referred to as a Thai Bride, ie. a derogatory term meant to make people think that this is a “bought” bride often via the internet or some other impersonal agency. The reference “Thai bride” often equates to a relationship based around money and not love.

The Press can pick up on the worst horror stories regarding Thai-Farang relationships and use these to reinforce the stereotypes. Such stories tend to include vivid descriptions of murder of either the Thai or the Farang.

These Thai-Farang relationships are the sort that live on the edge of society – maybe involving various players in the bar industry. Either the Farang had been milked dry and murdered in frustration/desperation or the Farang had cut all ties to his “Thai bride” which provoked her into murder in order to get the inheritance money. Yet the gruesome endings to these specific relationships somehow tarnish other Thai-Farang relationships as it is once again stressed that either partner went as far as murder due to disputes about money.

In the more narrow media specifically appealing to Farangs involved in or planning to get involved in a relationship with a Thai woman you find a greater nuance in portrayals but maybe ultimately just as misleading.

At one end of the spectrum you find the numerous marriage agency sites that try to “sell” the idea of having a Thai partner to Western men. Such sites will try to downplay the issues of money in a relationship by stressing all the other reasons why Thai women find Western men more appealing than Thai men. They will say that Thai men are promiscuous and sexist and that Thai women wish to escape from this.

At the other end of the spectrum there are a number of websites who cater for the sort of man just coming out of failed relationships with Thai women. They release some of their anger and frustration by writing “advice” about Thai women and their culture. These articles often tend to be very condemning and generalising. They tend to stress the popular view that the main object for Thai women is money but they spell this idea out in much more detail than the popular press. The contributors to these websites usually put an effort into deriding the whole of Thai culture and make up some conspiracy theory about why their relationship with a Thai women was bound to break up. What is lacking in all these contributions is any kind of self-criticism. The onus of the critique is always on Thai women and Thai culture.

Both the marriage agencies and the Thai culture-bashing sites are biased and anyone going solely by the ideas of either is heading in the wrong direction. The marriage agencies speak to an imagined ideal that some Western men have of Asian women and try to stress the positives while ignoring any obstacles that may occur. The scorned men pouring out diatribes on various websites are desperately trying to justify themselves and instead of looking at the specifics of what went wrong in their relationship they prefer to lambaste a whole culture for their own failures.

The negative media portrayals are something that Thai-Farang couples have to deal with. In order to continue a healthy relationship it is necessary for the average Farang to be quite critical of the media. If he is not then these negative stereotypes could ultimately alienate him from his partner.

A famous propagandist once wrote that if a lie is just repeated enough times then people will end up believing it. So even though your Thai-Farang relationship is in reality quite healthy and well-founded the prevalent prejudices in society and the media may raise undue suspicions and conflicts.

To believe the misogynistic and xenophobic diatribes of bitter men against Thai culture instead of actually trying to understand the culture from a positive point of view will be a dead certain way of sabotaging any relationship.